For the Ladies: What to Say the Morning After

From AL and via Jezebel:  Are you a lady who’s recently lost her virginity?  Do you expect to be?  Then boy have we got the read for you!  Direct from 1965, Found Objects brings you The Recently Deflowered Girl, a very nice little (parody) etiquitte guide to the confused, but glowing, young woman.

It’s Like… He’s Speaking to Me!

Via Yglesias:  Define irony?  Making this videoabout New Media Douchebags and putting it on YouTube, mayhaps?  Kind of great it comes out the day I’m sitting around trying this blogging thing out again…

The Internet Is Your Playground: Psychotic, Lying, Whoring, Still Going to Clubs at Her Age, Skank Edition

• That image is not of Ebola or HIV/AIDS or even Africanized honey bees.  No, it’s a much more devastating plague of low wages prices that has spread insatiably from Arkansas through the rest of the country:  Wal-Mart.  Check the animation for some real epidemiology.  [via Gizmodo]
• Step 1:  stupid misogynist asshat blogger anonymously writs nasty things about a model.  Step 2:  said model takes offense.  Step 3:  model sues Google in order to find identity of stupid misogynist asshat blogger.  I don’t know exactly where the profit comes in.  [The Big Money]
• Of course, as soon as I say something about ESPN’s effective monopoly on teevee sports, in comes the cable monopolist, wanting a piece of that action.  [Sports by Brooks via Deadspin]
• And finally, another to add onto the pile of stupid tattoos that will be regretted later.  [Deadspin]

Happy Birthday TBTL!

Long-time producer Jen Andrews, Japan's Number One Mixer Sean De Tore, and host Luke Burbank, the crew behind TBTL

I’m a big fan of Luke Burbank, Jen Andrews, Sean De Tore, and everybody who goes into making Too Beautiful to Live happen.  (That means you, GRZA, Nickturn, and Robin Turner!)  I’ve been listening since AL introduced me to the show in April, and I’ve even been on the show by the magic of telephone technology a couple times (including for a really ill-advised entry into a mustache competition).

Anyway, tonight is the one-year anniversary of TBTL’s very first episode, and it’s sure to be a great episode.  Tune in online tonight at 10 p.m. EST, or just hit 97.3 on the FM dial if you find yourself in Seattle (I mean, that’ll happen sometimes).  At the very least, click over to iTunes and subscribe to the podcast – they’re just coming back after a week of Best Of… episodes, so you can jump right in with the cream of the proverbial crop and be up with the new stuff!  It’s the best of both worlds!  You’ll thank me later.

At any rate – congrats Luke, Jen, and Seanny – here’s to another great year of pushups, the Busey, Hot Cheetos, and literally running marathons.

It’s Friday… Let Loose at Work

Take a few minutes out of your Friday and enjoy the goodness.

Lost In The Tubes: Cheap Burgers Edition

• Good Stuff Eatery, the new burger joint on Capitol Hill owned by former Top Chef contestant Spike Mendelsohn opened recently.  Here’s a story about the opening festivities and we’ll have a review of the food (check out the super-reasonably priced menu at their website) as soon as we can get over there. [DCist]
• Momma’s who want their kids to be president, listen up: no rape jokes.  Really.  Just get that point across, because they come back to haunt you.  Even if you used the joke 22 years ago.  Oh, and let’s not forget that it is relevant in 2008, because McCain is still an asshole who makes rape jokes.[Wonkette]
• On a lighter note, Billy Packer has already found a new job! (ish) [Tirico Suave]
• Liz, the new blogger at why.i.hate.dc is doing a great job so far.  Check out her work. [why.i.hate.dc]
• There’s a whole mess in Philadelphia sports right now because Chase Utley was unimpressed when the New York fans booed him.  NY Tabloids are calling him out and everyone is making a bigger deal out of it than it is.  Here’s a great and interesting recap of the whole deal. [The 700 Level]

The Internet Is Your Playground: Awkward to Hyper-Awkward Edition

• Ted Stevens is in the tubes!  Look out! [Wonkette]
• The iPhone 3G comes out today and you can expect Gizmodo to be on the news all day.  Luckily… because I don’t know what we’d do without thrice-hourly updates on the iPhone release. [Gizmodo]
• Phil Mickelson’s obscenely extravagant house is for sale.  There are two guest houses, a spa, and all the left-handed scissors you could ever need. [Deadspin]
• NFL Rookies + Showtunes = Hilarity.  Make it the cast of Oklahoma! and it gets even better.  Super awkward (and hilarious) video at the link. [KSK]
• And in our “Ugh, really?” Story of the Day: Bush regales the G8 summit with jokes about his poor record on the environment.  Ugh, really? [The Carpetbagger Report]

The Internet Is Your Playground: Tattoo’d on the Couch Edition

I’ve got a trip for work, so I’m likely out for the weekend, which means I won’t have a Weekending… post up tomorrow.  Suffice it to say that one of the (few) great international club soccer rivalries involving an American team renews itself Saturday night as your D.C. United play host to CD Guadalajara, better known as Chivas – the Goats.  I’ll see you kids Monday – here’s your Playground.

• Let’s keep the self-reference going from a couple days ago.  I’m planning on getting a tattoo this summer – thankfully I wasn’t considering any of these designs.  Wouldn’t that have been embarrassing?  [Radar Online - shout out to AL]
• And speaking of embarrassing… what a way to die.  Death by Couch.  [Reuters - shout out to Ms. Kelley]
• And back to the self-reference.  (What?  We’re a blog – it’s in the job description.)  The week I finally cave and buy a Mac, out leaks photos of the next edition.  Every bleeping time.  [AppleInsider]
• With all the important matters facing the District, from schools to transit and everything in between, perhaps the greatest question is this:  Are we a town or a city, anyway?  [DCist]
• I’ve never been to Yankee Stadium.  I’m doing my best to rectify that this summer, before it’s too late.  If you manage to make it up there, think about following Rick Reilly’s lead… if there’s anything left to pilfer, that is.  [ESPN The Magazine]

The Internet Is Your Playground: Don’t Call It A Comeback Edition

• So, a comedian, a politician, and a wrestler walk into a Senate race… looks like Jesse Ventura is running after all. [Wonkette]
• The KSK guys are huge Judith Light fans. Really. [KSK]
• After moving Rodney Carney and Calvin Booth to make cap room, Elton Brand is a Sixer!  The city of Philadelphia is happy, but I’d imagine that Baron Davis is a bit pissed. [ESPN via The 700 Level]
• If you are into jazz, there is a ton of stuff going on this week in the D.C. area. [DCist]
• And today’s Bill Simmons Real World Story of the Year: Kevin from Season One is running for Congress!  The United States Congress!  The one in D.C.! (Yes, those are horses you hear behind you, and, yes, Death, Pestilence, Famine, and War are riding them.) [Gawker]

Lost in the Tubes: Footballs Are Soccer Balls Edition

• I can’t believe I’m posting to a Chicago Fire blog with United playing those evil men in red tonight in U.S. Open Cup play, but when I see that you posted links to your top 20 soccer commercials all time, I just can’t help myself.  [The Red Card]
• This bit is a little bit old, and it’s managed to slip through about 3 days worth of links.  Don’t say Culturegeist never did anything for you, at least not after you give this to your 80s-TV-obsessed cousin for his birthday.  Or your brother, who loved Boy Meets World.  [NYT]
• Personally, I’d rather see nuclear rule the power landscape here like it does in France.  (Yeah, I said it.)  That said, I’m all about diversity, and wind power definitely has its place.  [CNN]
• Okay, must appease Juice with this joke… New York Magazine.  Will Leitch.  Giant inflatable garbage bags on the streets.  Um… sex with man-leggings!  [via Urban Prankster]
• And because we’re nothing if not self-referential here at Culturegeist, here’s a link to a post about the shiny new entry level DSLR Canon is unleashing next month.  Having been looking to break into the whole “taking pictures with a nice camera” thing for a while now, I, for one, can’t wait.  [Machochip]

The Internet Is Your Playground: Choking on Footballs Edition

• This is as funny as any link we will ever post on Culturegeist, in my humble opinion.  I won’t tell you what’s on the other side of it, but I promise it’s safe for work and it has no volume… until you start laughing. [USA Today]
• This guy will be the first person on the planet with an iPhone 3G.  That either makes him very cool or absolutely, tragically not at all cool.  I’ll let you decide. [Gizmodo]
• Last night, Adam Eaton sucked for the Phillies.  Just ask him. [The 700 Level]
• You know the whole pay-what-you-want thing for music that’s doing so well for artists like NIN and Radiohead?  Let’s just say Oasis isn’t on that bandwagon and Noel Gallagher has strong thoughts on the issue.  (I’m sure you’re all shocked.) [NME via OhNoTheyDidn’t]
• A few months ago, a friend and I were talking about NBA free agency.  He said the Sixers should go after Elton Brand.  I agreed, but said that there was no way it would work out for cap reasons and, frankly, why the hell would Brand want to play in Philly?  Well, then the Sixers had a mini-resurrection, made a plan to clear cap space, and now they think Brand might sign. [ESPN]
• And one more serious note… Sometimes we take that whole First Amendment thing for granted… and then we read a story about political bloggers in Egypt being tortured and killed. Ugh. [Daily KOS]

Happy ‘merican Day!

Hello folks…

The AMT and I are scrambling to do some actual work… really… I know, it’s hard to believe… before the July 4th holiday and a busy weekend.

But because we are born entertainers, or something like that, we can’t just leave our loyal readers (all twelve of you) without entertainment. So, I present to you two spectacular videos. One only a few seconds, the other a few minutes. One funny on purpose, the other maybe not. It ain’t much, but it’ll have to be enough until after the weekend.

Have some beer, watch some fireworks, and get all ‘merican this weekend. We sure will be.

Lost In the Tubes: Lowest Common Denominator Day Edition

• Contrary to some of today’s posts, we’re all class here at Culturegeist. And to prove that, enjoy a preview of July’s theatre offerings in the D.C. area. [DCist]
• I’ve had Weezer’s newest effort, Weezer (The Red Album) for a month now and I can’t decide if I love it or hate it. Rob Harvilla has written a review that does a great job of describing how the album ranges “from terrible to terribly affecting.” [The Village Voice]
• We all depend too much on Wikipedia. You do it, I do it… it’s just so easy. Well, sometimes things like this can happen. And no, Steve Jobs is not actually the second coming of Jesus Christ. [Macenstein with credit to Culturegeist Field Reporter TheFuture]
• If you’re a political dork, Slate’s “Choose Your Own Running Mate” interactive feature is as fun as it sounds. If you’re not a political dork… it’s probably just as fun as it sounds to you too. [Slate]
• Very, very sneaky! Silly gays and their subversive attempts at holy matrimony! A couple of guys in Virginia decided to cheat the system by… asking politely for a marriage license… and it worked (for a while anyway)! [Wonkette]
• And just to bring the day full circle, another link to the magical (?) story about Mutt and Ginny. [OhNoTheyDidn't]

Evolution of a Meme: Peanut Butter Jelly Time

A few nights ago, Sparky and I wanted to show a friend “Peanut Butter Jelly Time” because she was somehow unaware of this pop culture phenomenon. However, just finding the original was an amazing experience.

So then I thought, “Maybe I should do a post about this?” Allow me to provide a script for the rest of that train of thought. Think of it like A Beautiful Mind.*

*Mind involved not beautiful

Good Juice: A post would be fun!

Evil Juice: You cannot do a post on PBJT. It would be lazy and unoriginal.

GJ: And awesome!

EJ: It’s annoying, played out, and not up to the standards of Culturegeist.

GJ: EJ, you crazy! This blog started with posts about library head and potty-mouthed presidential candidates! Surely PBJT is better than that!

EJ: You are going to hell.

So, ladies and gentleman, children of appropriate ages, pimps, pedophiles, and ministers prime, I present to you, the original PBJT here with subsequent goodness after the jump!

Lost in the Tubes: Funny Last Names Edition

• Come on… “Tyson Homosexual” is a much funnier name than “Tyson Gay.” We know how those right-wing fundamentalist Christians are with their humor. [Deadspin]
• Speaking of morality, an argument many law professors have been pushing in class lately has to do with the Internet and community standards. Mostly because we publish things like “Just say no to the club-footed ho.” Also dudes fucking sheep. Who knew it would be the Google that took the argument mainstream? [Slate]
• Know that argument the NRA (and Scalia, natch) put forward about people with guns in their homes being safer? Maybe not so fast with that one. [Washington Post via Above the Law]
• On a lighter, and yet somber, note: Jay Bilas hates that he’s been turned into a human drinking game and is imposing a moratorium on discussing players’ “length.”  Booo.  [With Leather]