Lost In The Tubes: Cheap Burgers Edition

• Good Stuff Eatery, the new burger joint on Capitol Hill owned by former Top Chef contestant Spike Mendelsohn opened recently.  Here’s a story about the opening festivities and we’ll have a review of the food (check out the super-reasonably priced menu at their website) as soon as we can get over there. [DCist]
• Momma’s who want their kids to be president, listen up: no rape jokes.  Really.  Just get that point across, because they come back to haunt you.  Even if you used the joke 22 years ago.  Oh, and let’s not forget that it is relevant in 2008, because McCain is still an asshole who makes rape jokes.[Wonkette]
• On a lighter note, Billy Packer has already found a new job! (ish) [Tirico Suave]
• Liz, the new blogger at why.i.hate.dc is doing a great job so far.  Check out her work. [why.i.hate.dc]
• There’s a whole mess in Philadelphia sports right now because Chase Utley was unimpressed when the New York fans booed him.  NY Tabloids are calling him out and everyone is making a bigger deal out of it than it is.  Here’s a great and interesting recap of the whole deal. [The 700 Level]

The Internet Is Your Playground: Paralympic Doping Edition

We have a big week planned for Culturegeist: a couple of new running features, a Movie Madness for Hellboy II, and lots of links to interesting, fun, and funny goodness.  Yes, you heard me right… actual content this week!  With words!  But first, here’s some links to start the week off right and avoid that case of the Mondays:

• USADA caught of a couple of track and field athletes doping… at the Paralympics.  Luckily, I am slow of wit and unable to get myself in trouble making fun of this story. [International Herald Tribune]
• The New Yorker has an interesting piece on how Chicago influenced Obama.  Unfortunately, the editors thought it would be a great idea to put a cartoon of the Obamas as machine gun toting, flag burning Muslims on the cover of the issue… so there’s that too. [New Yoker article here, the cover here via the NYT Politics Blog, and The Carpetbagger Report on the campagins' reactions here]
• Good news, bad news in D.C.  Another gunman in Adam’s Morgan this weekend: bad news.  Witnesses ran him down and the police caught him: good news, such as it is. [NBC4]
• Apparently product placement is bothering the FCC so much that it is considering regulating the practice.  One idea includes disclaimers… which, by my count, will draw attention to the product placement and only make it more effective.  Right? [Gawker]
• Advice for Elton Brand from Allen Iverson and Charles Barkley, a couple of players who know what it’s like to deal with Philly fans. [The 700 Level]

The Internet Is Your Playground: Awkward to Hyper-Awkward Edition

• Ted Stevens is in the tubes!  Look out! [Wonkette]
• The iPhone 3G comes out today and you can expect Gizmodo to be on the news all day.  Luckily… because I don’t know what we’d do without thrice-hourly updates on the iPhone release. [Gizmodo]
• Phil Mickelson’s obscenely extravagant house is for sale.  There are two guest houses, a spa, and all the left-handed scissors you could ever need. [Deadspin]
• NFL Rookies + Showtunes = Hilarity.  Make it the cast of Oklahoma! and it gets even better.  Super awkward (and hilarious) video at the link. [KSK]
• And in our “Ugh, really?” Story of the Day: Bush regales the G8 summit with jokes about his poor record on the environment.  Ugh, really? [The Carpetbagger Report]

The Internet Is Your Playground: Don’t Call It A Comeback Edition

• So, a comedian, a politician, and a wrestler walk into a Senate race… looks like Jesse Ventura is running after all. [Wonkette]
• The KSK guys are huge Judith Light fans. Really. [KSK]
• After moving Rodney Carney and Calvin Booth to make cap room, Elton Brand is a Sixer!  The city of Philadelphia is happy, but I’d imagine that Baron Davis is a bit pissed. [ESPN via The 700 Level]
• If you are into jazz, there is a ton of stuff going on this week in the D.C. area. [DCist]
• And today’s Bill Simmons Real World Story of the Year: Kevin from Season One is running for Congress!  The United States Congress!  The one in D.C.! (Yes, those are horses you hear behind you, and, yes, Death, Pestilence, Famine, and War are riding them.) [Gawker]

Lost in the Tubes: Footballs Are Soccer Balls Edition

• I can’t believe I’m posting to a Chicago Fire blog with United playing those evil men in red tonight in U.S. Open Cup play, but when I see that you posted links to your top 20 soccer commercials all time, I just can’t help myself.  [The Red Card]
• This bit is a little bit old, and it’s managed to slip through about 3 days worth of links.  Don’t say Culturegeist never did anything for you, at least not after you give this to your 80s-TV-obsessed cousin for his birthday.  Or your brother, who loved Boy Meets World.  [NYT]
• Personally, I’d rather see nuclear rule the power landscape here like it does in France.  (Yeah, I said it.)  That said, I’m all about diversity, and wind power definitely has its place.  [CNN]
• Okay, must appease Juice with this joke… New York Magazine.  Will Leitch.  Giant inflatable garbage bags on the streets.  Um… sex with man-leggings!  [via Urban Prankster]
• And because we’re nothing if not self-referential here at Culturegeist, here’s a link to a post about the shiny new entry level DSLR Canon is unleashing next month.  Having been looking to break into the whole “taking pictures with a nice camera” thing for a while now, I, for one, can’t wait.  [Machochip]

The Internet Is Your Playground: Choking on Footballs Edition

• This is as funny as any link we will ever post on Culturegeist, in my humble opinion.  I won’t tell you what’s on the other side of it, but I promise it’s safe for work and it has no volume… until you start laughing. [USA Today]
• This guy will be the first person on the planet with an iPhone 3G.  That either makes him very cool or absolutely, tragically not at all cool.  I’ll let you decide. [Gizmodo]
• Last night, Adam Eaton sucked for the Phillies.  Just ask him. [The 700 Level]
• You know the whole pay-what-you-want thing for music that’s doing so well for artists like NIN and Radiohead?  Let’s just say Oasis isn’t on that bandwagon and Noel Gallagher has strong thoughts on the issue.  (I’m sure you’re all shocked.) [NME via OhNoTheyDidn’t]
• A few months ago, a friend and I were talking about NBA free agency.  He said the Sixers should go after Elton Brand.  I agreed, but said that there was no way it would work out for cap reasons and, frankly, why the hell would Brand want to play in Philly?  Well, then the Sixers had a mini-resurrection, made a plan to clear cap space, and now they think Brand might sign. [ESPN]
• And one more serious note… Sometimes we take that whole First Amendment thing for granted… and then we read a story about political bloggers in Egypt being tortured and killed. Ugh. [Daily KOS]

The Internet is Your Playground: Holiday Hangover Edition

• I’m honestly kind of played out on fireworks.  The coolest thing about them at this point is the kids’ amazement at the big booms and colorful sparks.  This firefighting stuff in So-Cal, though, seriously cool stuff.  [The Big Picture via Gizmodo]
• What do we want?  FiOS!  When do we want it?  As soon as practicably possible!  Yeah!  [Examiner via DCist]
• You wouldn’t think that making city streets safer for pedestrians would be a contentious issue.  It’s actually not.  Just don’t tell that to the Post, who just ran another stock “War on Commuters” piece.  Let’s take them to task, shall we?  [Greater Greater Washington]
• Twenty-Five Great Historical Events!  (As depicted by five-year-olds.)  [Cracked]
• Name your own price is all the rage with new albums apparently.  That and giving it away for free.  [Girl Talk; NIN]

Lost In the Tubes: Lowest Common Denominator Day Edition

• Contrary to some of today’s posts, we’re all class here at Culturegeist. And to prove that, enjoy a preview of July’s theatre offerings in the D.C. area. [DCist]
• I’ve had Weezer’s newest effort, Weezer (The Red Album) for a month now and I can’t decide if I love it or hate it. Rob Harvilla has written a review that does a great job of describing how the album ranges “from terrible to terribly affecting.” [The Village Voice]
• We all depend too much on Wikipedia. You do it, I do it… it’s just so easy. Well, sometimes things like this can happen. And no, Steve Jobs is not actually the second coming of Jesus Christ. [Macenstein with credit to Culturegeist Field Reporter TheFuture]
• If you’re a political dork, Slate’s “Choose Your Own Running Mate” interactive feature is as fun as it sounds. If you’re not a political dork… it’s probably just as fun as it sounds to you too. [Slate]
• Very, very sneaky! Silly gays and their subversive attempts at holy matrimony! A couple of guys in Virginia decided to cheat the system by… asking politely for a marriage license… and it worked (for a while anyway)! [Wonkette]
• And just to bring the day full circle, another link to the magical (?) story about Mutt and Ginny. [OhNoTheyDidn't]

The Internet Is Your Playground: Nobel Terrorists Edition

• Good news! Nelson Mandela is no longer a terrorist! What? He has a Nobel Peace Prize? Surely, the Nobel should come with a medal, some prize money… and removal from the terrorist watch list… but apparently we’re just getting around to that. [CNN]
• There’s a debate about home schooling in California and everyone is blaming… each other. The Hometown Tourist takes a look at the debate. [Hometown Tourist]
• Capitals updates! Mike Green will be staying with the team and, with Huet gone, the Caps picked up a new netminder, Jose Theodore. [Off Wing Opinion and ESPN]
• Sex! War! Scandal! CBS promoted Lara Logan to Chief Foreign Affairs correspondent, which is nice… except that she had sex, which is apparently a problem. A link to double standards and sexy war zones! [Gawker]
• Let’s end this shockingly serious collection of links (depending upon what you think of hockey) with a story about Bret Myers trying to get his season back on track by accepting a demotion to triple-A. He had the right to refuse the transfer, but he’s been terrible and he knows it. [The Fightins']

Lost in the Tubes: Crazy, Crazy Europe Edition

• Time for big words:  ruminations on the relative importance and idiosyncrities of international football, especially the increasing prevelance of naturalized citizens playing for national teams.  Also:  Viva España!  [Washington Post]
• And speaking of the Continent… we all know mullets are all the rage.  A little weird, but whatever.  Chicks still dig Christiano Ronaldo.  Man-purses?  Fine – I carry a lot of stuff, and sometimes a backpack is just too bulky.  But leggings for dudes?  Seriously?  (Note:  I do not, in fact, carry a man-purse.) [New York Magazine]
• Sticking to Europe, we’ve all heard of CERN’s Large Hadron Collider… Right?  Worlds largest particle accelerator?  Anybody?  Okay, so it’s this big thing in Europe that a couple guys think might destroy all existence in the universe as we know it.  Scientists aren’t worried – they flip the switch later this summer.  Personally, I’ll take the side of the scientists.  That way, if I turn out to be wrong, there’s nobody around to say “told you so.”  [Slate]
• Speaking of the end of the world, is anybody else glad that we made it through the month of June?  For a while there, there were enough storms that it seemed like the End Times.  Well, maybe not the Apocalypse, but certainly there were a lot of storms last month.  [Capital Weather Gang]
• At long last, a city realizes that good architecture is more important than “starchitecture.”  Way to be, Beantown!  [Greater Greater Washington]
• And turning to politics, this was supposed to be the campaign where John McCain made sure the discourse was about issues, and not attacks on the opposing candidate.  Apparently John McCain didn’t get the memo.  [The Carpetbagger Report]

The Internet Is Your Playground: Flying Sausages and Gitmo Edition

• Now that Lebron James, Dwayne Wade, Chris Bosh and others can all become free agents in the summer of 2010, FreeDarko takes a look at how the league will feel that impact in the next two years as everyone frantically clears cap space. [FreeDarko]
• Bush’s Guatanamo policies are so absurd that a federal appeals court decided to use a Lewis Carroll poem to get their point across. Specifically, “Lewis Carroll notwithstanding, the fact the government has ’said it thrice’ does not make the allegation true.” [CNN]
• William McGurn (who apparently has a Ph.D. in ‘missing the point’) thinks McCain can beat Obama by becoming the new JFK… by way of Colombia? Don’t bother reading this if you prefer articles that make sense, but it’s good for a laugh. [WSJ]
• Speaking of making sense: somehow A-Rod isn’t even clutch when he sleeps with Madonna. [Machochip]
• And finally, our “man arrested for throwing sausage at his mother” story of the day! [The Smoking Gun]

Lost in the Tubes: Funny Last Names Edition

• Come on… “Tyson Homosexual” is a much funnier name than “Tyson Gay.” We know how those right-wing fundamentalist Christians are with their humor. [Deadspin]
• Speaking of morality, an argument many law professors have been pushing in class lately has to do with the Internet and community standards. Mostly because we publish things like “Just say no to the club-footed ho.” Also dudes fucking sheep. Who knew it would be the Google that took the argument mainstream? [Slate]
• Know that argument the NRA (and Scalia, natch) put forward about people with guns in their homes being safer? Maybe not so fast with that one. [Washington Post via Above the Law]
• On a lighter, and yet somber, note: Jay Bilas hates that he’s been turned into a human drinking game and is imposing a moratorium on discussing players’ “length.”  Booo.  [With Leather]

Lost In The Tubes: Wide Stances and Hookers for Traditional Marriage Edition

• Does this mean that muskrats use terrorist fist bumps? If so, why do Obama and McCain refuse to denounce the muskrat threat? [Wonkette]
• Wondering where D.C.’s most expensive restaurants are? I’m so happy you asked. [Gridskipper]
• Apparently, there’s at least one guy in D.C. who doesn’t watch the news… or look at newspapers… or participate in society… [DCist]
• Who better to step up and protect marriage than David Vitter and Larry Craig? Really? We have to do this? [The Carpetbagger Report]
• And I’ll send you to the weekend with some musings about feminism and gun ownership in the wake of the Heller decision. [Jezebel]

The Internet Is Your Playground: You Could Be Next Edition

• Brook over at HTT is wondering if the government could do a better job of wooing top graduate students, rather than just presuming that the folks of pure mind and heart will reject the private sector. [Hometown Tourist]
• KSK has a 16 man bracket set up to figure out the toughest guy in the NFL through fan voting. You’ll find the bracket here and the voting should start today. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]
• Charlie Black, a McCain strategist suggested that a terror attack would be good for John McCain. Black backtracked, McCain ran away from it, but DarkSyde is wondering what you think would happen. It’s an interesting poll, go vote. [DailyKos]
• Jimi Izrael tries to remind us that, regardless of where you stand on the Imus comments, when we start censoring people, you could be next. [The Root]
• So, there were congressional hearings on horse racing, and those of us who are only casual fans probably did not hear much about them. This is a pretty good recap of the proceedings. [Bloodhorse]

Lost in the Tubes: Invisible Bloggers from a Galaxy Far, Far Away Edition

• “Billy” from the first Predator movie (who also dabbled in quality adult entertainment in the 70s as well as the U.S. penal system) is running for Senate.  As a Libertarian.  You can’t make this stuff up.  [Wonkette]
• The force is strong with Barack.  [Yeas & Nays]
• Ryan Avent has more on the wrong-headed (at best) and bogus (at worst) environmental opposition to developing Poplar Point.  [The Bellows via BeyondDC]
• So in the LA Times article that just won’t die a follow-up post on The Big Lead, McIntyre mentioned a KSK contributor by name.  Always remember, kids:  never take on  cavemen.  Especially when they’re smarter than you are they’re damn smart and have a rabid following.  [Kissing Suzy Kolber]