The Internet Is Your Playground: Psychotic, Lying, Whoring, Still Going to Clubs at Her Age, Skank Edition

• That image is not of Ebola or HIV/AIDS or even Africanized honey bees.  No, it’s a much more devastating plague of low wages prices that has spread insatiably from Arkansas through the rest of the country:  Wal-Mart.  Check the animation for some real epidemiology.  [via Gizmodo]
• Step 1:  stupid misogynist asshat blogger anonymously writs nasty things about a model.  Step 2:  said model takes offense.  Step 3:  model sues Google in order to find identity of stupid misogynist asshat blogger.  I don’t know exactly where the profit comes in.  [The Big Money]
• Of course, as soon as I say something about ESPN’s effective monopoly on teevee sports, in comes the cable monopolist, wanting a piece of that action.  [Sports by Brooks via Deadspin]
• And finally, another to add onto the pile of stupid tattoos that will be regretted later.  [Deadspin]

Gimmicky Much?

Like many who spend significant time in the tubes and in front of the tube, I have a love-hate relationship with the WWL.  They are essentially a monopoly provider of sports television, and honestly their production values are some of the best, if you’re into bells and whistles.  But they love them some gimmicks.  Just to name a few, there’s “Who’s Now?”, “Best Sports City”, Chris Berman, and now tonight’s switcheroo, where the network’s top NBA announcing crew will go to Durham for tonight’s Stephen Curry Davidson-Duke matchup, leaving the NCAA commentators to the NBA game in Denver.

Big reveal and more after the jump.  God, it’s been a long time since I said that…

Lost In The Tubes: Cheap Burgers Edition

• Good Stuff Eatery, the new burger joint on Capitol Hill owned by former Top Chef contestant Spike Mendelsohn opened recently.  Here’s a story about the opening festivities and we’ll have a review of the food (check out the super-reasonably priced menu at their website) as soon as we can get over there. [DCist]
• Momma’s who want their kids to be president, listen up: no rape jokes.  Really.  Just get that point across, because they come back to haunt you.  Even if you used the joke 22 years ago.  Oh, and let’s not forget that it is relevant in 2008, because McCain is still an asshole who makes rape jokes.[Wonkette]
• On a lighter note, Billy Packer has already found a new job! (ish) [Tirico Suave]
• Liz, the new blogger at why.i.hate.dc is doing a great job so far.  Check out her work. [why.i.hate.dc]
• There’s a whole mess in Philadelphia sports right now because Chase Utley was unimpressed when the New York fans booed him.  NY Tabloids are calling him out and everyone is making a bigger deal out of it than it is.  Here’s a great and interesting recap of the whole deal. [The 700 Level]

The Internet Is Your Playground: BRAINS!! Edition

• Want to scare your neighbors?  Keep those goldurn kids off your lawn?  Maybe even frighten off that pesky groundhog?  Boy have we got the thing for you!  (Caution:  may require occasional feedings involving human flesh and grey matter.)  [Gizmodo]

• Speaking of the walking dead, ladies and gentlemen, your Washington National Baseball Club!  [Bugs & Cranks]
• And while we’re on the topic… so long, Billy Packer.  [Deadspin]
• And for those still among the living who would like to get a fix to maybe feel like a zombie for a while, just listen for the happy music.  (Seriously, though, I’ve been making the joke that the ice cream trucks in the neighborhood around RFK are dealing for a while now, and I’ve heard real stories of this happening elsewhere.  Nobody should be surprised – it’s kind of a great cover, until it isn’t anymore.)  [DCist]
• And for anybody who’s convinced the apocalypse will come from climate change, and not something sensible (like zombies), here’s something for you.  [Capital Weather Gang]

Just for good measure, because no discussion of zombies is complete without it.  A special bunch of videos after the jump.

What the Hell Ever Happened to… Soul For Real

New feature time!  Much like VH1′s Where Are They Now?, our own What the Hell Ever Happened to… will track down the celebrities of our youth, using what limited resources are available to us – mostly our devilish good looks, and Wikipedia.  The inspiration for this feature was the following music video, which prompted the question you see above:  What the hell ever happened to Soul For Real?  [So, apparently embedding has been disabled for every version of this video residing in the tubes.  It will have to suffice for you to link over to YouTube to watch.  Apologies, but seriously, go and watch.]

Soul For Real.  Man, what an awesome group.  I mean, when I was a kid, they were like Jackson 5 meets Boyz II Men.  I remember watching them lip sync Candy Rain on Nickelodeon’s All That when I was a kid.  (All That, coincidentally, may be the subject of a future What the Hell Ever Happened to….)  They could sing, they could dance, and they were the bomb.  I mean what 13-year-old didn’t want to be in a singing and dancing heartthrob group with his older brothers?  (Anybody?)

…and then nothing.  They had the one song that got them onto a tween-targeted sketch comedy show, but that was it.  I for one never heard anything from them again, outside of that song many, many times over the intervening years, thanks to the wonderful (seriously) All That:  the Album.  I mean, this was the group that kept the teenage-heartthrob-boy-group-who-sing-and-dance vibe going through the early 90s.  I won’t say they paved the way for Backstreet, Blackstreet, *NSYNC, and 112, but they definitely performed routine highway maintenance.  Find out what happened to this most important one-hit-wonder pop-soul boygroup of the mid-90s, after the jump.

Muppets Take Manhattan

I just recently watched Manhattan and it reminded me of one of my favorite YouTube mashups.  And you know how I love to share:

The Internet Is Your Playground: Nobel Terrorists Edition

• Good news! Nelson Mandela is no longer a terrorist! What? He has a Nobel Peace Prize? Surely, the Nobel should come with a medal, some prize money… and removal from the terrorist watch list… but apparently we’re just getting around to that. [CNN]
• There’s a debate about home schooling in California and everyone is blaming… each other. The Hometown Tourist takes a look at the debate. [Hometown Tourist]
• Capitals updates! Mike Green will be staying with the team and, with Huet gone, the Caps picked up a new netminder, Jose Theodore. [Off Wing Opinion and ESPN]
• Sex! War! Scandal! CBS promoted Lara Logan to Chief Foreign Affairs correspondent, which is nice… except that she had sex, which is apparently a problem. A link to double standards and sexy war zones! [Gawker]
• Let’s end this shockingly serious collection of links (depending upon what you think of hockey) with a story about Bret Myers trying to get his season back on track by accepting a demotion to triple-A. He had the right to refuse the transfer, but he’s been terrible and he knows it. [The Fightins']

Lost in the Tubes: The ‘You Think They Cancelled Me?’ Edition

• Crazy soccer fans: coming to an American city near you! This guy seems kind of awesome… unless you’re his mother… she might be a bit embarrassed. [D.C. Sports Bog]
• More than enough reason to hate Yankees fans and Red Sox fans at this link. [Busted Coverage via With Leather]
• The Phillies fully embrace that idea that starts with “If you can’t beat ‘em…” with an attempt to pick up Brian Fuentes. [The 700 Level]
• Larry King is doing a tribute to George Carlin tonight with Jerry Seinfeld, Bill Maher, Roseanne Barr, Lewis Black, Joan Rivers and others. Plus, this gives me an excuse to post the video below… one of my favorite Larry King moments ever. [CNN]

The Internet Is Your Playground: Smart Octopi Edition

• I’ve always loved the octopus.  Maybe that’s even  what my Patronus would be – a giant, billowing octopus.  At any rate, it turns out that maybe these things are really, really smart.  (Or maybe they’re not?)  [Slate]

• Forget Sierra Leone – Kanye’s next single is all about Diamonds from Boston, Mass.  Who needs blood diamonds when we can have perfect-quality lab diamonds?  [Smithsonian Magazine]

• The Mythbusters, done proud by nearly 1,200 Belgians, and a lot of cola.  And Mentos.  Can’t forget the Mentos.  [Gizmodo]

• The biggest Cinderella story you’ve never heard of.  Going on in the College World Series right now.   Though AL would want me to have you root for the other Bulldogs in the final… [ESPN]

Hulu? Is this thing on?

Those of you like me have been trying to find various clips on the YouTubes recently, only to find that NBC-Universal has had them all removed (and stricken from the search record, no less). I suppose that’s within their right as, you know, copyright holders and all, but still pretty lame unless you really like clicking through NBC.com. At any rate, NBC has been teaming with some other major players like FOX, Sony, WB, MGM, and others to make their very own little video site. How cute. Anyway, Hulu launched this week, with select full episodes of select shows. (Sweet, now I can watch Episode 8 of Chuck – the one week I missed…what, it’s not on there? Shit. But I can watch clips from 40 Year Old Virgin? Well, okay.)