How I Loathe Thee… Let Me Count the Ways

13 January 2009

A tongue-in-cheek list of the 50 most loathsome people in America, including the evidence against them and the punishment society should give them for their crimes?  Sign me up.  Any list that groups Michele Bachmann, M. Night Shyamalan, and Barack Obama together at the bottom of the list deserves at least a shot.

Thanks to Wonkette for passign along this link this morning.  I needed to share it with our faithful reader(s?), even though I’m sure that the Venn diagram of our readers and Wonkette readers looks like a dinner plate. [The BEAST via Wonkette]


Coaches Coach

13 January 2009

Last year, ESPN looked foolish as hell when they rearranged their whole Monday Night Football schedule around Brett Favre’s number retirement in Green Bay.  They had plans to send the whole network out to Wisconsin.  They were going to make this the biggest and best MNF season debut ever on the back of a tearful ceremony starring their favorite working class, blue collar quarterback.

Only problem?  He no-showed.  Because he is a player and players play football until they can no longer move.

Read the rest of this entry »

Girls & Drugs: The Way to a Carjacker’s Heart

12 January 2009

Steps to a carjacking FAIL:

  1. Carjack somebody, taking victim’s cell phone with you.
  2. Receive text message from victim’s friends, explaining they are partying with naked chicks and drugs.
  3. Text back your current location; wait for girls & drugs.
  4. Try explaining things to the cops when they arrive.
  5. FAIL.

[Via Gizmodo]

The Gentlemen Just Wanted to be Delightfully Tacky. Or Not.

12 January 2009
Wait - its 2009... people still go to Hooters??

Wait - it's 2009... people still go to Hooters??

When douchers sue Hooters, nobody wins.  Three guys, looking for a paycheck, got the clever idea to file a class action against Hooters, because the restaurant chain – get this – refused to hire them as waiters.  The plaintiffs want emotional damages resulting from the sexual discrimination.

Now, I’m no fan of Hooters’ employment practices, and the place is nothing if not trashy.  But, to take a page from Seth and Amy… really, guys?  Really?  You want to be servers at a place called “Hooters”?  Really?  You think you should be objectified and ogled by dudes drinking beer?  Really?  You really want to flirt with male patrons?  How about that.  Really?

I mean, if these guys do want to flirt with dudes ogling them, more power to ’em – maybe hooters can change it up for a new demo and earn some points for progressive policies, but somehow, I think these scumbags plaintiffs are in it for an easy buck.  [Via Jezebel]

Update: While I was writing this post, in comes word from Hooters that this is hardly a novel idea, and they’ve beaten similar raps before.  They won’t hire men to be objectified, dammit, and the law can’t make them!

Fare Thee Well, Tony Dungy

12 January 2009
Those arent glares - theyre halos.

Those aren't glares - they're halos.

I was in class when I saw this and couldn’t post it up as quickly as I’d have liked, but my Colts are officially in a coaching transition as Tony Dungy has stepped down to focus on – what else? – faith and family.  Thanks for the ring, Coach.  Now go rescue some troubled youths from those dirty streets of Naptown.

More Musicians than Abe Could Shake a Stick At [UPDATED]

12 January 2009

lincoln-memorial-bruuuuceVia WaPo:  Well, kids, the rumor was true, and the Boss will be playing somewhere in the immediate vicinity of the Lincoln Memorial on Sunday, along with a crazy lineup of pinko-commie-Islamofascist-fake-America-lib’ral-leftist artists.  Start time is T.B.D. 2 p.m., and it’ll show on HBO from 7 to 9 that night.   The performers list includes the likes of:

Beyonce, Mary J. Blige, Bono, Garth Brooks, Sheryl Crow, Renee Fleming, Josh Groban, Herbie Hancock, Heather Headley, John Legend, Jennifer Nettles, John Mellencamp, Usher, Shakira, Bruce Springsteen, James Taylor, and Stevie Wonder. …

Jamie Foxx, Martin Luther King III, Queen Latifah and Denzel Washington will be among those reading historical passages. The Rev. V. Gene Robinson will give the invocation.

I know where I’m spending my Sunday afternoon.  I’ll hopefully have some pictures up this time next week, when – oh yeah – I’ll be getting dressed for a little shindig at the Air & Space Museum.  Gonna be an awesome weekend.

For the Ladies: What to Say the Morning After

9 January 2009

From AL and via Jezebel:  Are you a lady who’s recently lost her virginity?  Do you expect to be?  Then boy have we got the read for you!  Direct from 1965, Found Objects brings you The Recently Deflowered Girl, a very nice little (parody) etiquitte guide to the confused, but glowing, young woman.