Get on HBO! (Oh Yeah, and a Free Concert too)

Via DCist:  HBO is taping airing (presumably live) the Opening Celebration for the 56th Presidential Inaugural on Sunday January 18.  Rumor is that Springsteen will be headlining, but given that HBO is onboard, even if the Boss skips out, you can bet somebody good will be there.  And did I mention that the concert will be on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial?  How do you spell badass?

The Internet Is Your Playground: Psychotic, Lying, Whoring, Still Going to Clubs at Her Age, Skank Edition

• That image is not of Ebola or HIV/AIDS or even Africanized honey bees.  No, it’s a much more devastating plague of low wages prices that has spread insatiably from Arkansas through the rest of the country:  Wal-Mart.  Check the animation for some real epidemiology.  [via Gizmodo]
• Step 1:  stupid misogynist asshat blogger anonymously writs nasty things about a model.  Step 2:  said model takes offense.  Step 3:  model sues Google in order to find identity of stupid misogynist asshat blogger.  I don’t know exactly where the profit comes in.  [The Big Money]
• Of course, as soon as I say something about ESPN’s effective monopoly on teevee sports, in comes the cable monopolist, wanting a piece of that action.  [Sports by Brooks via Deadspin]
• And finally, another to add onto the pile of stupid tattoos that will be regretted later.  [Deadspin]

Lost In The Tubes: Cheap Burgers Edition

• Good Stuff Eatery, the new burger joint on Capitol Hill owned by former Top Chef contestant Spike Mendelsohn opened recently.  Here’s a story about the opening festivities and we’ll have a review of the food (check out the super-reasonably priced menu at their website) as soon as we can get over there. [DCist]
• Momma’s who want their kids to be president, listen up: no rape jokes.  Really.  Just get that point across, because they come back to haunt you.  Even if you used the joke 22 years ago.  Oh, and let’s not forget that it is relevant in 2008, because McCain is still an asshole who makes rape jokes.[Wonkette]
• On a lighter note, Billy Packer has already found a new job! (ish) [Tirico Suave]
• Liz, the new blogger at why.i.hate.dc is doing a great job so far.  Check out her work. [why.i.hate.dc]
• There’s a whole mess in Philadelphia sports right now because Chase Utley was unimpressed when the New York fans booed him.  NY Tabloids are calling him out and everyone is making a bigger deal out of it than it is.  Here’s a great and interesting recap of the whole deal. [The 700 Level]

What the Hell Ever Happened to… Soul For Real

New feature time!  Much like VH1’s Where Are They Now?, our own What the Hell Ever Happened to… will track down the celebrities of our youth, using what limited resources are available to us – mostly our devilish good looks, and Wikipedia.  The inspiration for this feature was the following music video, which prompted the question you see above:  What the hell ever happened to Soul For Real?  [So, apparently embedding has been disabled for every version of this video residing in the tubes.  It will have to suffice for you to link over to YouTube to watch.  Apologies, but seriously, go and watch.]

Soul For Real.  Man, what an awesome group.  I mean, when I was a kid, they were like Jackson 5 meets Boyz II Men.  I remember watching them lip sync Candy Rain on Nickelodeon’s All That when I was a kid.  (All That, coincidentally, may be the subject of a future What the Hell Ever Happened to….)  They could sing, they could dance, and they were the bomb.  I mean what 13-year-old didn’t want to be in a singing and dancing heartthrob group with his older brothers?  (Anybody?)

…and then nothing.  They had the one song that got them onto a tween-targeted sketch comedy show, but that was it.  I for one never heard anything from them again, outside of that song many, many times over the intervening years, thanks to the wonderful (seriously) All That:  the Album.  I mean, this was the group that kept the teenage-heartthrob-boy-group-who-sing-and-dance vibe going through the early 90s.  I won’t say they paved the way for Backstreet, Blackstreet, *NSYNC, and 112, but they definitely performed routine highway maintenance.  Find out what happened to this most important one-hit-wonder pop-soul boygroup of the mid-90s, after the jump.

The Internet Is Your Playground: Don’t Call It A Comeback Edition

• So, a comedian, a politician, and a wrestler walk into a Senate race… looks like Jesse Ventura is running after all. [Wonkette]
• The KSK guys are huge Judith Light fans. Really. [KSK]
• After moving Rodney Carney and Calvin Booth to make cap room, Elton Brand is a Sixer!  The city of Philadelphia is happy, but I’d imagine that Baron Davis is a bit pissed. [ESPN via The 700 Level]
• If you are into jazz, there is a ton of stuff going on this week in the D.C. area. [DCist]
• And today’s Bill Simmons Real World Story of the Year: Kevin from Season One is running for Congress!  The United States Congress!  The one in D.C.! (Yes, those are horses you hear behind you, and, yes, Death, Pestilence, Famine, and War are riding them.) [Gawker]

The Internet Is Your Playground: Choking on Footballs Edition

• This is as funny as any link we will ever post on Culturegeist, in my humble opinion.  I won’t tell you what’s on the other side of it, but I promise it’s safe for work and it has no volume… until you start laughing. [USA Today]
• This guy will be the first person on the planet with an iPhone 3G.  That either makes him very cool or absolutely, tragically not at all cool.  I’ll let you decide. [Gizmodo]
• Last night, Adam Eaton sucked for the Phillies.  Just ask him. [The 700 Level]
• You know the whole pay-what-you-want thing for music that’s doing so well for artists like NIN and Radiohead?  Let’s just say Oasis isn’t on that bandwagon and Noel Gallagher has strong thoughts on the issue.  (I’m sure you’re all shocked.) [NME via OhNoTheyDidn’t]
• A few months ago, a friend and I were talking about NBA free agency.  He said the Sixers should go after Elton Brand.  I agreed, but said that there was no way it would work out for cap reasons and, frankly, why the hell would Brand want to play in Philly?  Well, then the Sixers had a mini-resurrection, made a plan to clear cap space, and now they think Brand might sign. [ESPN]
• And one more serious note… Sometimes we take that whole First Amendment thing for granted… and then we read a story about political bloggers in Egypt being tortured and killed. Ugh. [Daily KOS]

Lost In the Tubes: Lowest Common Denominator Day Edition

• Contrary to some of today’s posts, we’re all class here at Culturegeist. And to prove that, enjoy a preview of July’s theatre offerings in the D.C. area. [DCist]
• I’ve had Weezer’s newest effort, Weezer (The Red Album) for a month now and I can’t decide if I love it or hate it. Rob Harvilla has written a review that does a great job of describing how the album ranges “from terrible to terribly affecting.” [The Village Voice]
• We all depend too much on Wikipedia. You do it, I do it… it’s just so easy. Well, sometimes things like this can happen. And no, Steve Jobs is not actually the second coming of Jesus Christ. [Macenstein with credit to Culturegeist Field Reporter TheFuture]
• If you’re a political dork, Slate’s “Choose Your Own Running Mate” interactive feature is as fun as it sounds. If you’re not a political dork… it’s probably just as fun as it sounds to you too. [Slate]
• Very, very sneaky! Silly gays and their subversive attempts at holy matrimony! A couple of guys in Virginia decided to cheat the system by… asking politely for a marriage license… and it worked (for a while anyway)! [Wonkette]
• And just to bring the day full circle, another link to the magical (?) story about Mutt and Ginny. [OhNoTheyDidn‘t]

BADASSS LITTLE WIZARD ARCHAELOGIST BABIES!

So, this story from OhNoTheyDidn’t came our way this morning from AL. Reactions to the idea that Shia LaBeouf might be dating Ginny Weasley from the Harry Potter movies were… as you might imagine… hilarious. The conversation after the jump immediately followed the news:

Evolution of a Meme: Peanut Butter Jelly Time

A few nights ago, Sparky and I wanted to show a friend “Peanut Butter Jelly Time” because she was somehow unaware of this pop culture phenomenon. However, just finding the original was an amazing experience.

So then I thought, “Maybe I should do a post about this?” Allow me to provide a script for the rest of that train of thought. Think of it like A Beautiful Mind.*

*Mind involved not beautiful

Good Juice: A post would be fun!

Evil Juice: You cannot do a post on PBJT. It would be lazy and unoriginal.

GJ: And awesome!

EJ: It’s annoying, played out, and not up to the standards of Culturegeist.

GJ: EJ, you crazy! This blog started with posts about library head and potty-mouthed presidential candidates! Surely PBJT is better than that!

EJ: You are going to hell.

So, ladies and gentleman, children of appropriate ages, pimps, pedophiles, and ministers prime, I present to you, the original PBJT here with subsequent goodness after the jump!

The Internet Is Your Playground: Flying Sausages and Gitmo Edition

• Now that Lebron James, Dwayne Wade, Chris Bosh and others can all become free agents in the summer of 2010, FreeDarko takes a look at how the league will feel that impact in the next two years as everyone frantically clears cap space. [FreeDarko]
• Bush’s Guatanamo policies are so absurd that a federal appeals court decided to use a Lewis Carroll poem to get their point across. Specifically, “Lewis Carroll notwithstanding, the fact the government has ‘said it thrice’ does not make the allegation true.” [CNN]
• William McGurn (who apparently has a Ph.D. in ‘missing the point’) thinks McCain can beat Obama by becoming the new JFK… by way of Colombia? Don’t bother reading this if you prefer articles that make sense, but it’s good for a laugh. [WSJ]
• Speaking of making sense: somehow A-Rod isn’t even clutch when he sleeps with Madonna. [Machochip]
• And finally, our “man arrested for throwing sausage at his mother” story of the day! [The Smoking Gun]

The Internet Is Your Playground: Monster Back to Work Edition

• A review of the Dave Matthews Band show I attended at Nissan Pavilion on Saturday. The review is pretty fair, but I might have some thoughts of my own to share later in the day. [InRich]
• How the hell do you get a stress fracture in your sternum?!? Everyone is saying the right things at the moment, but this could be bad for Team USA, considering the limited number of bigs on the roster. But, really, more than that… how do you get a stress fracture in your sternum?? [ESPN]
• The South will rise again! And by “rise,” I mean “vote for Obama?” Being from the Deep South, I am pretty cynical about any plan he has to win states down there, but Virginia, North Carolina, and even Georgia might really be in play. [NYT via Wonkette]
• I love stories about Amy Winehouse. She is absolutely my favorite walking train wreck right now. So… did you see her take a swing at a fan? Really. While you watch, take note of how bad the performance is. It’s really beyond words. [TMZ and TMZ Video]
• Saturday was the second birthday of Kissing Suzy Kolber. One day, we hope Culturegeist sees a second birthday, but right now we’re still hoping for a one month anniversary. [KSK]
• Here’s a really solid review of Wanted. Take a look at it, because we’re posting a long piece on the film in an hour or two. [UGO]
• Have you seen the trailer for Pineapple Express? I don’t want to sound too ridiculous, but when I watched this, I thought it had a chance to be Lebowski-esque. [IMDB]

Finally, just because I’m in a good mood, here’s one of the great Family Guy adaptations. It should totally help you avoid a case of the Mondays.

Lost In The Tubes: Wide Stances and Hookers for Traditional Marriage Edition

• Does this mean that muskrats use terrorist fist bumps? If so, why do Obama and McCain refuse to denounce the muskrat threat? [Wonkette]
• Wondering where D.C.’s most expensive restaurants are? I’m so happy you asked. [Gridskipper]
• Apparently, there’s at least one guy in D.C. who doesn’t watch the news… or look at newspapers… or participate in society… [DCist]
• Who better to step up and protect marriage than David Vitter and Larry Craig? Really? We have to do this? [The Carpetbagger Report]
• And I’ll send you to the weekend with some musings about feminism and gun ownership in the wake of the Heller decision. [Jezebel]

The Internet Is Your Playground: You Could Be Next Edition

• Brook over at HTT is wondering if the government could do a better job of wooing top graduate students, rather than just presuming that the folks of pure mind and heart will reject the private sector. [Hometown Tourist]
• KSK has a 16 man bracket set up to figure out the toughest guy in the NFL through fan voting. You’ll find the bracket here and the voting should start today. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]
• Charlie Black, a McCain strategist suggested that a terror attack would be good for John McCain. Black backtracked, McCain ran away from it, but DarkSyde is wondering what you think would happen. It’s an interesting poll, go vote. [DailyKos]
• Jimi Izrael tries to remind us that, regardless of where you stand on the Imus comments, when we start censoring people, you could be next. [The Root]
• So, there were congressional hearings on horse racing, and those of us who are only casual fans probably did not hear much about them. This is a pretty good recap of the proceedings. [Bloodhorse]

The Internet Is Your Playground: Portis in ’08 Edition

• Obama’s aiming to pick up 14 Bush states from 2004 and strategically use his coattails to bring in local races. [Politico]
• MTV has always preferred a non-partisan approach to the election season, promoting voting as a concept and banning campaign ads on MTV itself. That policy has now changed, for better or worse. [AdAge via Gawker]
• Clinton Portis went on NFL TV to debut four new characters and he wants you to vote for the costume that he should use when speaking to the media this fall. [D.C. Sports Bog]
• Going from dating Anne Hathaway to being under indictment in Italy for conspiracy, wire fraud, and money laundering in a real-estate scheme … not a strong move. [WSJ Law Blog via ATL]

Lost in the Tubes: The ‘You Think They Cancelled Me?’ Edition

• Crazy soccer fans: coming to an American city near you! This guy seems kind of awesome… unless you’re his mother… she might be a bit embarrassed. [D.C. Sports Bog]
• More than enough reason to hate Yankees fans and Red Sox fans at this link. [Busted Coverage via With Leather]
• The Phillies fully embrace that idea that starts with “If you can’t beat ’em…” with an attempt to pick up Brian Fuentes. [The 700 Level]
• Larry King is doing a tribute to George Carlin tonight with Jerry Seinfeld, Bill Maher, Roseanne Barr, Lewis Black, Joan Rivers and others. Plus, this gives me an excuse to post the video below… one of my favorite Larry King moments ever. [CNN]